After last night, I could never be a politician.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
