I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
