he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
