Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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