the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
