Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
