after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
