i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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