you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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