This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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