Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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