I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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