Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
