dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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