Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
