Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
