I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
