everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize