Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
