You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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