omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
