I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
