So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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