so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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