So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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