the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
