omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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