So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
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Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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