How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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