Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
