It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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