i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When are your genitals available?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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