all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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