That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
