If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
