it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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