Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
