just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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