Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
