Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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