if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
