8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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