The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
