Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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