is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Someone came in the potted fern
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
