i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
