K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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