I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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