I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
