Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
