I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
