if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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