I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's the barista slut.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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