Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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