I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
