He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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