You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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