my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
