I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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