did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
