Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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