man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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