He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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